我突然想到，若今天你跟我說，happy xx day。

我真會想吐。

好想你。

回家。在想著你，好牽掛。

跟人家說得如放下那樣，其實怎可以。

聽到有關妳的，沒想過原來這樣。

一方面有點失落，沒想過原來這樣。另一方面暗慶幸。也許應該這樣說，比最懷情況，好得多。

但，我可以怎樣了。

突然，又很牽掛。
放過我吧，讓我可以相愛好嗎。

醒來，又是難以承受的痛。

因為只有這樣做，我才可以真正離開。
你不懂我的痛。

Not a word from her since my letter/journal. What does that mean? What she said was, again, deceivement? Or she just could not handle it?

It's nice to befriend with you again, although that may turn out to be not much. 

No, it is the past. It's different now.